Overcoming Porn, Part 2 – The Tools That Kept Me Free

ByPeter Skov
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Overcoming Porn, Part 2 – The Tools That Kept Me Free

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Freedom from porn lasts when the lie is replaced with truth – Part 2 retells my story and lists the tools, people, and practices that helped me stay free.

(Acts 17:11: Please learn to do your own Bible studies like this one – here.)

This testimony has 2 parts:

(Continued from Part 1.)

My Story in a Little Bit Different Way

Rejection led to self-pity. Self-pity had a child – a fruit of tempting lies, which I believed and received, and then to my sin, the sin of self-satisfaction.

This unholy path led to a deep root of self-justification in self-satisfying myself in a pity party of rejection of and me seeking to punish God the Father (how childish and grandiose of me… – but I have come to believe we are all like this deep inside).

And without me being willing to fully scream to God and truly face and own and acknowledge my sin – being blind and choosing my blindness, I ended up in porn, and time-waste, and other rebellion like lying about what I had done – if it was porn.

I was deep inside allowing it due to justification of a broken God intimacy, where I felt He started it by rejecting me. So, I had an anger against God. A disappointment with God. I felt rejected by God – maybe not completely but it was there.

The evidence of God’s rejection of me was there in many areas of my life.

I was – deep inside and semi unaware of what was going on inside me – actually PUNISHING God (by simple childish retaliation – payback) – by holding myself away from deep trusting loving intimate and true heart to heart relationship Him.

It was UGLY to look at my own sin when I realized the truth of it – the whole burden of evidence and sin was on me not taking responsibility for me and for me having allowed this to happen and for me to choose to believe the lie that God was not good and not for me due to negative circumstances in my life.

It was idol worship – me not worshipping the actual reality of who God is according to the Bible, which is eternal reality and truth. I did not look pretty.

But I finally saw my sin, I was granted repentance and I repented of and took responsibility for my ugly sin – my wrong perception of God and my wrong reaction toward God. I repented and turned to the truth – even though it was a fight.

Please understand that it was in the actual doing of forcing myself to be stepping through by faith into intimacy by listening to awesome and child-like prophets like Donna Rigney, Brian Guerin and others. I realized this intimacy was not there – but then I decided to go for it.

And it was in so doing – that I believe it was God who revealed this actual emotional state of me toward God in my thoughts – even though I did not feel it as a revelation or Holy Spirit help at the time when God said to me: “But Peter, you have decided to not give that intimate place in your heart to me”.

It took time to unravel the maze and labyrinth of lies of the devil that had led me to that decision and unlock the various destructive constructions in my mind that had been built because of that sin.

How did I then break and destroy the attitude and mindset of self-pity? I asked God for help – for the emotions – the feelings of rejection were real and strong and big and I had gotten on that bus and accepted them so many times.

The help He gave me was the cross, the blood, the obedience of Jesus, the rejection He took for me from me – while not deserving it Himself. That is love. So the medicine worked.

It worked by me choosing to own the process and look through the rejection, self-pity emotions that were based on lies to the truth!

The truth I used to go into to kill the powerful emotion based on a lie is: Jesus on the cross, and the blood and His raw pure obedience out of love for me, the Father and Himself – this action! proves the love of God for me.

He was radically and 100% obedient to God even though He was treated like shit by all – including me – if I had been there, and He looked like a failure – and He NEVER even deserved it as we do and it was not God who rejected Him – it was our sin on Jesus that made Daddyo reject Jesus (with our sin on) – a rejection we no longer need to carry.

Jesus took my rejection on Him, during the time when He cried out: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me. There He forever erased the rejection of mankind. Rejection is a lie!

And – Jesus never went into self pity – and anger at God or people – even though He actually experienced worse things than I. His intimacy with God and image of God was never off – like mine. It is a lie of the devil that God does not totally love us.

We might feel unloved by the Father. We might feel abandoned by the Father. We might feel that God the Father does not love us, respond to us, give us much, does not help us.

But that my dear friend is a lie we have to kill with the actual physical and spiritual truth of the cross – which displays the actual eternal heart of God. He never rejected us – we, human-kind, and I individually – even as a Christian, rejected Him by becoming obedient to the devil.

The Medicine to This Lie Is Found Here

The split-second before you go into self-pity – which is there because of allowing feelings of hurt, injustice, and loneliness from God toward you (but which is 100% false and lies) – you sense the rejection.

But you don’t stay there for you are shameful that you don’t have the relationship with God you know deep inside you should have. For we were made to enjoy this fellowship 24/7.

The only medicine that I have found works is: The cross, the blood, the pain, the scourging, the abandonment of Jesus eternally proves otherwise!

The unjust bloodshed, death, suffering and unjust treatment of Jesus because of my sin and the sin of the world (not His own) speaks louder than all other unjust bloodshed, death, suffering and treatment of me.

Conclusion based on stronger eternal truth from God – forever established in God by God: The demons are bad and lie. God is good and true. We were sinners, saved by grace. God is 24/7 wholeheartedly good and for us.

Why did I not see it earlier?

It was so deceptive for I was “serving God” – truly, and “bearing some measure of fruit” – so both those good deeds that I did was hiding this truth of me believing a lie from me – and the shame I felt for believing it and for the disturbing fruit of it – was hiding it.

In reality I was “better than God” because I served Him wholeheartedly – even though He didn’t love me wholeheartedly – and because He didn’t love me wholeheartedly – I rebelled and counter rejected Him and didn’t serve Him wholeheartedly and fully obedient – and it was then also all hidden under the denial due to shame, guilt, pain, and rejection.

So, I hid away that there was a major crack in the foundation – because the building of my life was quite operational – and looked good from the outside. Also – I honestly felt better than God – for He started the evil. I wanted only good. So, pride in me was definitely happening.

One foundational sin has so many evil consequences.

The good news is – that when I forced myself to look at the truth of the love of God as proven through the cross of Jesus – I no longer needed to reject God and rebel against God – for the love of God led me to repentance (Romans 2:4).

Now all reason (rejection) to rebel was removed and I cast out the demonic spirits enforcing the words, and feelings of rejection, self-pity, and self-satisfaction (sexual impurity). Now the opposite effect of payback is a reality.

Because God LOVES ME FIRST and it is 24/7 – always – through the eternal cross – now I pay Him back – with love. I retaliate with understanding. I retaliate with grace. I retaliate with eternal truth. I no longer worship an idol = a false image and a false understanding of God.

How do you know if you could have problems in this area that you are blind to? You have bad fruit. You might just have decided that it is just part of your personality. That is also a lie of the enemy.

Other Tools That I Used in That Time of Transformation

Reading and Listening to the Book: The Final Quest by Rick Joyner

In that book the wisest prayer is this: God judge me now with the judgment I will get at the end of my life where you, God, evaluate how well I did with the love, the talents, abilities, and opportunities I was given.

I believe the answer to that prayer was a revelation of the lie of rejection: the root of rejection, that God had rejected me – partly (in His deepest heart), so I had turned around and retaliated and given God a dose of His own medicine – so I had decided to counter reject Him by not giving Him the most intimate part of my heart.

I then REPENTED from my sin and had to stop being a little hurt child and get mature and eat the fiery eternal biggest truthful medicine of the cross, the blood and Jesus obedience as the undeniable, indisputable eternal proof of the FULL WHOLEHEARTED love of God the Father for me ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥.

Discovering a Solution to Some Personality Weaknesses

Shortly before beginning this breakthrough journey, I had also participated in a seminar about personality types and discovered that one of my weaknesses is that I like to perform and be seen and recognized by people (it is common to us all – built in by the Creator).

The healthy response to this – is to spend true quality time one on one with Daddy – living first for Him. This happened in the end of 2019 – just before COVID. As COVID then came – it was like a call to truly spend time with Dad.

Radical Obedience to the Original Call of Jesus for All His Disciples and Bearing Fruit from That

I then also beat it by after this actually becoming obedient. By taking self-responsibility, self-ownership for myself – for my life, for my thoughts, for my actions. I REPENTED! It is not my church, my pastor, my wife’s fault, or responsibility.

It is only in the end of the day – and the start of the day – me. I am commanded to love Jesus by obeying Jesus: His commands, truth, will and love FIRST of ALL.

I started actually obeying simply what it says in the New Testament (no matter if others said no) – including deliverance, Holy Spirit baptism, healing, street, door to door, home to home evangelism under the leading of the Holy Spirit to the best of my ability – with great inspiration in teachings by

Donna Rigney on intimacy with Jesus – really, truly, hanging out with Daddyo – and that holiness is NOT optional, but commanded and possible.

  • Book and 4 teaching CDs: Word doc
  • messianicvision.swncdn.com
  • YouTube
  • YouTube
  • YouTube
  • This all led to me actually taking more quality time with Daddyo – truly hanging out – in my mind and prayers – one on one with Him with: 1. Worship music, a notebook and pen – praying in tongues, truly hanging out with the Friend of Friends.

Simultaneously Often Spending Good Morning Real Quality Time with Daddyo in Secret

I also learned to spend quality time in the mornings in the secret place with God. This is the most important practice in the Christian life. Doing this in a Biblical, 100% relational way is the non-negotiable starting foundation for all healthy Christian life and ministry.

MUCH MORE to read about this here: Article

An Important List of Other Tools and Understandings That Helped Me Not Get Defeated Again

This was a lot about repentance – and very little about the deliverance I also needed.

Simultaneous Deliverance

In this period, I was also binge-watching good deliverance videos from this crew of amazing ministers and ministries: Word doc.

Praying those deliverance prayers along with those ministers as I was biking, driving, taking public transport to and from work, as I was on the toilet, as I was vacuuming and hanging up clothes – I was also getting more and more free – so the Holy Spirit could speak to me more clearly, and so that the legal rights of the demons into my temple – my house were broken – and the demons commanded to go in the mighty name of Jesus.

Read much more about this here: Spiritual Freedom Teaching – Peter Skov

  • Who is deliverance for: Word doc
  • Theology and Practice of Deliverance: Article

Please also go below to see the extended version of links to actual deliverance sessions and teachings about freedom from rejection, lust, pornography, and idolatry.

I beat spirits of impurity, rebellion, emotional hurt, and rejection, by studying and practicing self-deliverance from demons of lust, perversion, bitterness, rebellion, disobedience, envy, pride, self-pity. I repented, confessed, and humbled myself.

I found out the legal permissions for the demons to be there and I broke them – and I replaced the lies with the truth! I then also commanded demons with those names: lust, perversion, bitterness, rebellion, disobedience, envy, pride, self-pity – to go and never return!

I am sure this was part of my problem – and it must be done. When both the repentance and the deliverance was done. I was set free to be free!!!!!!!!

Here are some of the deliverance ministers and videos I would recommend you listen to and pray along with:

And many others like Don Dickerman, Stephan Botha, Derek Prince, Jennifer Weaver, Maria Davis etc. etc.

Some years before getting set free I talked to a Christian Psychologist using a course (PureDesire) from the USA on freedom from porn

I had been talking openly about my struggles to a Christian psychologist who was not himself struggling. It helped for a while to confess my sin and have the accountability. But we did not deal with my rejection issue, my self-pity issue, and my idol worship issue.

So, as you can imagine when I stopped seeing him, believing I was now ok.

The deep inner healing I needed turned out to be the REAL hammer of soft, truly loving relationship with my Daddyo as well as taking personal responsibility (REPENTANCE) to actually bear fruit – and then actually see God moving through me again!

Refusing personal limitations set by church, church culture, church leaders (even close ministry friends), family (even wife and kids), tradition, fear of man etc.

Another thing that also happened: I started no longer following the limitations of people around me including confronting myself, my wife, family and friends, my pastors, my own past, my own fears, disappointments, and setbacks.

I started reading and then doing what Jesus actually did with His disciples and sent them out to do – for instance as seen in Matthew 10 and Luke 10. And miracles started happening!

People got delivered from demons, got healed, got filled with the Holy Spirit, came to faith, repented, got added to church and were baptized in water. That was so refreshing – and still is. I now LIVE to be a disciple, who makes disciples, who make disciples! Read more on that below

Watching Legends Obey Jesus First While Struggling Through Much Opposition and Stay the Path

I have a friend, Torben Søndergaard, whose preaching about Joseph – that when opposition came – he just kept on doing what he knew to be right. No matter what you think (and I am not a 100% fan of all that Torben believes), Torben has, though, to his true honor, through much opposition, kept going in practicing Matt & Luke 10 and has borne much good fruit through it – that cannot be taken away from him and it is very honorable:

  • His crying through a sermon on the life of Joseph, which really helped me take more self-responsibility: YouTube
  • So, I have listened through many videos with Torben. Kickstarts, Pioneer School, the movies, following his YouTube channel. I constantly filter him – for he has had a very strong attitude of rejection and then counter-rejection against Christians, churches, and leaders. But I also pick up truly good things. And I believe his baptism view is too close to being a good deed you have to do to become a real Christian. We must not throw out the baby with the bathwater. We eat the flesh – spit out the bones. We test all things – hold on to the good (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

Keep Going to War

I finally also beat it by – like King David – to stop watching TV BATH-SEBA – and THEN actually going out to the spiritual war when I should go out to war (https://www.blueletterbible.org/niv/2sa/11/1-3/). David did not go when he should have gone.

To go and obey – to get out there and practice what Jesus practiced and showed His 1-1 disciples in Matt (12 ppl) & Luke 10 (70 “others”). This is my war – and I sincerely believe it is also still your war and mine if Jesus is still the same yesterday, today, and forever.

We need to get trained and do it and then train others. Jesus never stopped saying – yes even commanding – what He said in those chapters. I don’t need to have time to sit around and sin.

I need to get out there in the fight and Get busy as a king going to was doing what Jesus commanded!!

I beat it by no longer submitting to the fears and limitations of those around me. By fighting that as well. And in a fight where you don’t start out with total experience, you sometimes go too far.

Being Accountable on a Regular Basis to Good Christian Men

This is also a way to freedom – that you know you have some good people to talk with and whom you have to be honest with to get real help. But it must be people who are free themselves – and preferably people who did it – but are free now.

Bearing Fruit of Seeking the Father and Being Obedient

I beat it by actually really starting seeing the fruit of miracles, discipleship, salvation etc. powerfully begin to flow from my personal life again, in a healthy way – from intimacy with Daddyo – that I can and will and should bear much fruit to the glory of God.

Listening to preaching talking about repentance, holiness, obedience, and the fear of God – based on the pure love of God

I have been listening to radical holiness preaching and people who have been set free from porn – and this helps to keep the fire of freedom burning.

Donna Rigney’s book about her visits to Heaven and Hell is very strong for this: Divine Encounters: Rigney, Donna: 9781626978935: Amazon.com: Books

Renewal of the Mind

I beat it by taking responsibility for myself, for my heart, for my attitude. I renewed my mind to think more correctly about Daddy God – and staying in the fight to not again fall into the ugly trap of self-pity, self-indulgence, and self-satisfaction.

Getting Rid of Financial Debt

Through the grace of God og much hard dedicated work. We finally got rid of a big financial debt that was amassed when some investments went wrong back in the 2008 financial crisis.

When You Think You Stand – Be Careful That You Do Not Fall

I am completely free today (27th of October 2023) – and have been so for over 1 ½ years – and I am deeply grateful!

I have never in 18 years stopped watching porn for so long – and I know that I am free in a 100% different way than before (where I was bound so hard and could somehow not stop or say no, but just struggled so much more with saying no – and then fell into sin).

I am not “bound” to doing it anymore – like I was. The late winter, around February of 2022 – when I had the Omicron coronavirus variant – marks the last time I fell.

I thought I had won – but I did, however, fall (I dare believe, trust, hope and proclaim: For the last time in this area) – after getting COVID for the 2nd time in ½ year – plus vaccine between the 2 rounds.

I fell into it due to self-pity & rejection & idolatry as I got sick – after having healed the sick, cast out demons, and attempted to raise the dead, and after having led people to faith.

How did I deal with this? I got back up and I analyzed how it could happen.

I concluded it happened because I did not re-apply the fact that God is fully – wholeheartedly – FOR ME, even when I am sick, and I need to stop having unrealistic expectations of myself when I am sick.

Meaning – I need to set my expectations of me bearing fruit and being energetic at my energy level – when I am sick. I need to rest – and be sick – and not go into frustration, rejection, self-pity, and self-satisfaction – also when I am sick.

I need to – right there – just re-enter the perfect love, embrace, deep friendship, as a blood bought disciple – even though I am sick!

Recently (May 2023) I went on a trip to the USA to meet Isaiah Saldivar.

Part of the trip I traveled alone – I was in a hotel alone and I got sick – and one of the people I have helped lead to Jesus and baptized called and accused me of controlling Him, not having good priorities, not operating in love, and rejected fellowship with me (I should have done deliverance on him better than I did).

I pray this is restored. Anyhow, I did not fall into porn and masturbation – for I had learned my lesson this time.

Those 3 things would, in the past 18 years have, individually, been major stumbling blocks for me to fall: Alone in a hotel, sickness (fever, pain, coughing etc.), and rejection from someone I really loved and really wanted to work with in the work of the kingdom.

I did not fall into sin this time – and it is a huge testimony to the grace, glory, freedom, and holiness of God and to the fact that I have learned – in all things – to KNOW – Daddyo, Jesus, Holy Spirit, God – you are with me and you are fully for me (look at the cross, the blood, the death, the obedience = the full love in action – the new covenant forever erasing all doubt of the heart of God for me.

The obedience of Jesus in spite of Him being rejected by people and the Father (due to my sin) takes away my excuse to disobey, to distrust due to deep rooted rejection hurts. Then there is no foundation for the sin of self-satisfaction.

So: The biggest of these by far, the final and deepest root of breakthrough is me personally repenting of self-pity to restoring actual intimacy with my Father and focusing on the eternal proof of the full love of God for me on the cross!! I am definitely at another level of strength than I have been before now!!

Scripture That Fits Right in with This

I hadn’t realized it, because I was serving God with fire and bearing some level of real fruit – but I actually perfectly in some aspects of my life fit into this Scripture:

Please read this: Matthew 25:14–30

I was the one hiding part of my talent because I deeply (yet unaware) believed the Father was like this “Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed”. I believed God was not fair, not just, not 100% loving.

That He did not truly completely love me!

This deep core belief and heart attack on the character and 100% goodwill of God was what kept tripping me up keeping me from true true, deep, heart level childlike intimacy with God – and leading me to allow myself to watch porn – rebelling against God – punishing God – by keeping myself away (terrible stupid ugly sin – done by me).

All Christian Disciplines Help

Apart from all of the above I also believe in prayer, praying in the Holy Spirit, reading, meditating on and acting on the Word, fellowship, servanthood, knowing I am loved and perfect, righteous, just through faith, heartfelt worship, etc. etc. as all the tools of freedom we should use.

I do not know which one of the above finally really “worked”. I can say all of them are good and necessary. I can say that I do feel very free today – and have not watched porn for a long time. The bondage to self-satisfaction due to self-pity due to disappointment and “feelings of needing to punish God” by keeping myself away from intimacy with Him feels like and in daily reality seems to be broken at a deeper level than ever before.

And Can I Say Some Very Important Thing in All of This

In all of this I continually had to repent and re-repent of my sin. It was such a deep circle of evil habits for me. I hated my sin, myself, and the fact that I felt absolutely stuck and helpless – unable to win.

I again and again had to re-return to the cross, the blood, the free grace of Christ my King and re-apply it to all areas of my life where I would previously fall. I continually had to re-lift my head, re-worship God, re come back to Jesus and know that I was forgiven.

Re-program my brain patterns and habits – as well as commanding demons of temptation to go.

I am eternally grateful for my church, my wife, my family for re-forgiving me and re-aligning me and re-lifting me up to the forgiveness of God. But I also needed to get freedom – and I did not have it.

I have survived my own sin, the entanglement of the devil and – as far as I can see, I now stand.

I am sorry to my dear loving, loyal, faithful, beautiful, gentle yet fierce wife, Mona, for sinning against you in this way – even though this had nothing to do with you or my love for you – but all to do with me and my sin.

I am sorry to my King and best FRIEND Jesus. I am sorry to my dear dear Daddyo. I am sorry to You, Holy Spirit for my sin which caused you to be grieved and hurt and to have to leave the eternal fellowship with the Son, Jesus. My sin did it.

My lineage and previous generation did it. I own my personal part in it and the human race. I did it. I got myself into this hell-hole spiral. I needed to own the deepest root of my belief that God was not actually good – and “so I hid” (as Adam & Eve said).

I am sorry to you who is reading this – for not to you for so long being all that I could have been – and this not fully reflecting Christ Jesus to you.

Even though I continue to be a broken vessel – I feel better, freer, and I do testify that I can see that I am able to break the temptation of the enemy now. I am ready to fight now – to help set others free. And I love it!

For I with the freedom I have received freely – I now set others free.

I Hope

I hope that through me coming out of hiding. Me coming out of shame. Me coming out with the news that: I failed. I sinned. I believed the devil’s lie. I fell.

As a born again Charismatic theologian (Bachelor in Theology) and free church pastor, and as a good Christian person, husband, father to 3 wonderful children, I had the wrong image of God. I own it.

I tried to punish God by holding the most intimate part of my away from my otherwise dedicated service of Him. I was prideful. And I did not see it. I hid it in service. I hid it intellectual pride.

I hid behind – not fully realized to me – anger, disappointment, self-pity, woundedness – leading me to “unbeatable sin” for 18 years. That is 18 years too many – for God says: Now is the day of salvation. Now is the day that all should repent.

Now is the day that all should seek Him. Please do not spend one more day not fully repenting, not fully coming into the light, not fully seeking Him and knowing that He is truly your Best Friend.

As that little wounded, rejected child in the schoolyard. Take His hand that He is reaching out to you as He says to you: “Friends?”

I hope this helps you go to the very root of any issues you might have.

I wish I had not been stuck in this ugly circle of lies for such a long time. What a waste of eternal reward time. “Lord Jesus – redeem my time, the time I have left on this earth to make a real diff.”

So

Let’s go to war – on our own perception of God. To get it right.

Let’s go to war – through practicing true Daddyo – one on one friendship with God.

Let’s go to war – by becoming obedient soldier disciples doing radical obedience service out of being loved and loving Him – exactly what Jesus said to His disciples in the Bible.

Jesus defines love as obedience to Him – John 14:15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me. John 14:31 So that the world may know that I love the Father, I do exactly as the Father commanded Me.

May I encourage you – it is possible through all that Jesus is and does and has given us – as we submit 100% to Him, follow Him, believe in Him – to conquer the areas of sin we are entangled in. Please use the principles above to do what I did. It is wonderful and beautiful. God is Daddyo. Jesus is truly Friend of Friends.

Mark 3:13-16 (written to fit with you and I – today)

Jesus

  • Called to Him
  • Those He wanted; YOU, and YOU came to him.
  • He appointed YOU that YOU
  • Might be with Him
  • And that He might send YOU out
  • To preach and
  • To have authority to drive out demons
  • He called you by YOUR name: What is YOUR name?

Are you willing, hungry? Do you have a heart for God? Then prove it like He proved His heart for you in pain and loving action – dying for you –

He truly loved you first. He never rejected you. He always loves you. He loves you that much.

Therefore, Let’s Do This!

To read positive life changing and selfish life breaking teaching – see All Bible Studies of Peter Skov of Action Christianity. Let God lead you to what to engage with first.

And here is my YouTube course on the very minimum foundations of normal discipleship.

Become an Action Christian

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