The Orphan Heart, Mindset, and Spirit – What It Is and How to Overcome It

Diagnosis

How does the orphan spirit come?

The orphan spirit is from the earthly limited perspective – what we are born into.

It is our condition on earth due to the death and destruction due to sin, rebellion against God in the spirit world and in the physical world – if we do not know it is a lie of the devil and demons. We do have a deep inner longing to fix the problem.

For we were made by God to walk with Him in the cool of the evening and be best friends, sons, daughters – in deep love with each other.

If we do not fully get that we are already loved through what Jesus did on the cross, we hold on to our father (God and earthly fathers by family or mentors in life), people, and leadership wounds.

We hold on to and choose to agree with accusations against that God is really truly good (Romans 5:8). We believe and act on lies from the enemy, questioning the wholehearted goodness, sincerity, and love of the plans of the Father with us (Genesis 3:1-8).

The orphan spirit and mentality comes from the sinfulness and brokenness of this world – and from the lies, temptations, and accusations against God of the enemy in our minds (Revelation 12:10).

In my own experience I would as a Christian tell you that that was not my problem when I in reality had it in full epidemic outbreak in me (John 9:39-41). Yes, I would say, God is love (1 John 4:8), and He loves me and we are good legally (2 Corinthians 5:21).

But in my emotions, I was hiding the truth about me, that I was hurt, wounded, and felt partly rejected by God for no real reason of mine (self-righteousness!) – for He was not supposed to “treat me like that” / “not be there” / “not help me” if He was really fully love (like Job I mistakenly accused God).

The confirmation to me of His partly loving attitude was that I was only partly blessed. So, I decided to partly shut off my heart to Him – to punish Him by not giving Him the most intimate and deepest part of my heart!

That’s how I acted on the lie which I sinfully believed, which said: “God is not fully for me. He has not fully adopted me. He does not fully really love me. See the evidence of that in areas of my life that are not going well.

So, I am not really adopted and loved like He promised.” That is the heart of a full-blown hurt and accusatory orphan talking.

This is a terrible root of sin – for I was the one who voluntarily chose to believe in the lie straight from hell – from the father of lies himself (John 8:44) – and I then believed in and fell in the lie and the sins of rejection, accusation, then self-pity, and self-righteousness, the self-satisfaction porn, excuses for rebellion and disobedience, and bad doctrine (God not really being fully good).

Since the orphan spirit is really hurt – hurt by God and / or people – it holds onto hurt. This is the trick: We have to let go of our right to be little hurt children – for it holds us bound in a negative spiral of hurt, depression, pride, and rebellion.

Jesus on the way to the cross and on the cross is the medicine.

He had the right to be hurt, for He was perfect in love and justice, and He was hurt – He even took unjust treatment by the Father – the Father hurt Him by leaving Him, so He could win us, so He could pay the price for my sin – for your sin – which you deserve punishment for.

That is true love in action from the heart of the Father (punishing His own Son for you), from the Son, staying in the pain, suffering, injustice, and hurt out of true eternal soft heart love for you – proven in action till the most vicious death and through hell – for you.

So – we lost our right to be hurt – if we choose to truly believe in that love of God through Jesus. For we were never hurt by the Father, the Son, nor the Holy Spirit.

It was Satan, the father of lies, whispering about the non-trustworthiness, the non-love of the Father all along – and we chose to believe the father of lies. So, we must choose to repent and run into the love of the Father in obedience to His pure love.

So run from right to hurt, hide, lies of distrust, fear of surrender, pride of I know better, rebellion out of retaliation – into the loving arms of the Father. Now!

How did I discover all this mess that I had chosen? By acting on a deep longing in my heart to truly be friends one on one with God and therefore attempting to spend genuine quality time alone one on one with Him. So, I started attempting to do that honestly, relationally, really, imperfectly.

I struggled terribly to do it. But by stepping out in action on it – against my feelings of hurt and rejection – I activated Matthew 6:6 – and all Heaven broke loose (over time and with much healing).

But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Matthew 6:6

And the house and fortress of cards of lies that the devil had built in me began to be torn apart by the Holy Spirit of love and truth. Glory to God for His eternal love and freedom through the obedience of love!

Read my full story of total freedom from watching porn – and actually freedom from an orphan spirit of rejection, self-pity, rebellion, accusation, and self-satisfaction outside the love of Daddyo here.

What are the symptoms – the fruits – of an orphan spirit?

It is a spirit, mindset, and attitude of a hurt child.

It can be demonically driven from either the outside of a person (temptation whispers and ideas) or the inside of a person (stronger strongholds of emotion that need to be driven out – for they are evil lying spirits that are there due to sin and open doors into their body), for it is a sin of not fully and completely receiving the love of Abba – Daddyo and sins open the door that demons can come in.

A hurt immature child (in the school yard) will retaliate with the attack that they feel they are being attacked with (they started). If they feel hurt – they will hurt. Attacked – Attack. Rejected – rejection. Unloved – no love. Unjust accusation – same. Persecution – persecute. Anger – anger.

The hurt child will feel justified to act like this because “they“ = God or people – “they started”. “I did nothing wrong to deserve this.” This wrong perception of and belief in reality when it comes to the goodness of God the Father is from hell.

They do not realize that this world and the atoms and the flesh does not reflect the will or heart of God for us.

And we are to believe in the goodness of God in spite of all the bad we see and that the liquid to wash our glasses in to see clearly – is only the blood of Jesus, the cross, His death – proving forever the love of God for us.

And therefore, the person with an orphan spirit must repent from accusing God – and choose to grow up into responsible maturity and run into His eternal loving, blood-washed, loving heart, hands, and embrace proven through unjust suffering for us. We run and we keep on running further into the reality and truth that He has the one fully true love-heart for us.

Be keenly aware of this fact. The orphan mindset can go into super over-performance to cover the hurt and pain – while also sinning (openly or hidden) – while also being an orphan.

It can even be super-charged religious good deeds and genuine supernatural acts and performance – but it is actually there to cover the hurt (like the fig leaves in the garden). But it can look spiritually amazing.

Gifts of power and fruit happening (like Samson and king David – while they are in full blown sin)!! But it is deeply unhealthy at the same time.

The orphan spirit can lead to us running so hard and running others so hard that we and / or they simply collapse – for we are not operating from and within the peace of already being fully accepted by the Father.

So, an orphan spirit can “look good” and “look fruitful” – but be powered by very bad demonic roots of rejection.

If ministry or work or other types of status – any kind of fig leaves form our “covering”, there’s a huge fear in stopping the ministry (or giving up any other good thing), even just for a season – for the status in the eyes of people – my status before God (and God is not fully to be trusted (is the hidden message!)) – will be taken away.

The ministry and gifts must therefore die and bow to the identity of sonship proven through the New Covenant – and that must be enough – for it is enough. Is there then from a healed healthy non-accusatory relationship with the Father – a healthy ministry – things to do? Yes, of course.

But an orphan spirit desperately holds on to their fig leaves of ministry and good deeds for status in the eyes of people – and the eyes of God.

When we truly see the radical love of God for us – we become willing in, through love, when we fully trust that love of the Father – to truly, from our hearts and from the safety of the Father’s love – to give up everything to and for Him.

The orphan spirit is both about status and control. For the status of being a child of God only and first is not the only and pure root in the foundation. Control is there because of deep insecurity.

The person with an orphan spirit loves to be first and to lead and likes titles and recognition. Not that it is bad to lead and have titles and recognition in itself.

But that leadership and those titles and recognition are never to be first over and above that the titles are unimportant compared to the love of the Father and to functioning as a servant who gives everything away freely to educate, train, enable all to be and do all that they are – and to literally give the gifts away to all, and that our real valuable title is “friend of God”.

An orphan spirit will hold onto false smaller identities of success – even in ministry which then even become an idol above the grace of undeserved but fully available and purchased intimate friendship, yes, the 100% free and total all covering mega success of being given full adoption as sons and daughters by the Father for free.

The title of “Minister”, “Children’s Minister”, “Pastor”, “Deliverance Minister”, “Apostle” is more important than the (for us) free (by Jesus) blood bought titles of “child of God”, “friend of God”, “disciple”, “beloved”, “bride”.

An often-seen symptom is pride in own achievements over and above the simple rest in the secret place with the Father. Maybe hidden away well – where even secret place time becomes performance (many words, repetitions, routines) – not a friend hanging out deeply, openly, non-religiously and honestly with a trusted friend.

It is driven by deep hurt and disappointment from leaders and even also God and longing for that place. It does not realize Jesus has completely ripped away and exposed the lie of orphanhood, proving by His life and death for us – we were never orphaned.

This spirit hides sin, has a very difficult time finding fathers in the faith and has a very hard time receiving loving but clear correction. There is a deep need to succeed and be a success, but the foundation is not first full acceptance by the Father God, but success in the eyes of friends, family, father figures, and God.

It leads to attacks against and criticism against and gossip against other brothers and sisters. The hurt remains if processes with leadership and co-workers do not lead to humble Matthew 18:15-17 done in discipline, honor, humility, patience, love, respect, and maturity.

The rejection a person feels from leaders – even though they are not rejected – but some of their attitudes or mistakes are addressed – causes self-justified counter rejection and attacks – for they feel unjustly attacked.

The solution is honorable dialogue, Matthew 18:15-17 in disciplined (doing precisely what Jesus said there), loving practice by both, repentance (I own all my actions and responses with my free will), humility (I lift others up and believe in others and speak life to others), weakness (not pride) / self-chosen brokenness (not – I am perfect – you are not) / vulnerability (I have deep problems – we all do – let’s heal and all run to the Father), unity (believing the others want unity in the spirit), and maturity (I can take a beating and maturely turn the other cheek without attacking in the same way).

The orphan can be orphaned with their relationship with God, with certain people or all people, and with themselves. They are usually very blind to this spirit and attitude themselves – that is how pride, and blame, hurt, lack of trust toward God and others and the bitterness coming out of that works.

I was blind to this for 18 years! Even though I now acknowledge that deep inside in my conscience and by the Holy Spirit I knew I was the problem, and I knew I had to own my own sins at an even deeper level.

And somehow I had an idea, that the demonic was involved.

The orphan spirit is based on, causes, and maintains bad doctrine in a person. That “Christian doctrine” can sound right and very Christian. But the reality of the consequences of that evil religion seeps out – and ends up accusing the perfect goodness of God and supports our immaturity and hurt. Examples of bad orphan spirit doctrine are:

• God is in control (so, therefore, the bad is from God). So, therefore, I do not completely trust Him with everything He says. I can now pick and choose among His commands.
• True theology: We destroy the works of the devil, as Jesus did. We are responsible to repent, to believe, to command, to obey, to love in action, to bring the kingdom of God here. The enemy has real – and independent power. People have real and independent true free will. This world is under death, destruction, and a curse – in that sense God is not in control – and evil does not come from Him at all – it never did. He is only love. But He has given free will – and there are consequences to disobedience.
• Good things that happen to me are from God. When bad happens, God is not fully for me. The foundation in the Spirit of the perfect love of the Father does not supersede the devil’s domain in the physical world.
• We must stop worshiping a god of our circumstances – and worship the God we see on the cross, taking our sin on Him – the greatest injustice ever. He became sin that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. And we are His sons now. He was rejected by the Father on the cross because of my sin when He cried out: “My God why have you rejected me?” We can say: I have never been rejected in Christ – for the Lamb of God was slain before the foundation of the world.
• Hurt and wrong treatment from other orphan spirit leaders is not addressed well so it is not deeply healed by the perfect love of the Father through worship and at times even Matt 18:15-17 confrontation.
• We must wake up and address the hurtful action accurately in love to the right people in the right way at the right time.
• Since God does not answer my prayers as I want (and I only want good things) – then I can live in rejection, hurt, and self-righteousness.
• We must see God on the cross – and know we are His children by the Spirit and that is enough. We cannot demand God does something – or else we will leave Him. That is immature, childish, not loving, not honoring, not aligning ourselves with the truth. Does God give certain experiences with angels, Heaven, Himself at times – yes. Does it happen when we seek Him at times, yes. But if it doesn’t happen, we are still to know He is love, we are purely deeply truly fully loved and seen and sons and daughters of the Father. We are good with Him, in Christ, forever. That will make us strong and mature that we do not only base our life with God on emotions, experiences, or feelings, but on eternal truth – no matter what we feel.